On Feeling Welcome

By Jenny Chapman

Be welcome.

What is it that makes us feel welcome? Does it come from the way others treat us, or from our own sense of self acceptance? I think it comes from both. We need a level of self-acceptance to sit comfortably with the acceptance of others.

Last year my world crashed around me as I dove into a black pool of depression and self-rejection. I isolated and gave up on myself, my work, my friends and my lover. Every day, and this was the worst because I could see myself doing it, I rejected my son and his needs. I spent days in bed and did not want my son around. Not because I didn’t love him, but because I felt I had nothing to give him, and to be awfully honest, I preferred most times to have my head in a book. I palmed him off to friends, family and his father, much more than was necessary. But being a single mum, he was around—and had to wear whatever I dumped on him. He was not welcome, and though I tried to mask it, in his own four year old way he knew it. The memory of it horrifies me.

Slowly his behaviour changed as his sense of being welcome and accepted diminished. Nothing changed about his needs, but his sense of freedom to come and go in my presence obviously started fading. He became more wary; not knowing if or when he would be pushed away. He became clingy. He changed to being more ‘contrary’ and behaving from a base of frustration and uncertainty rather than contentment. He changed to inappropriate attention-seeking behaviours. (And I wallowed in exhaustion, sadness and guilt.)

Thankfully I have been learning ways of coping that suit our little family. First and foremost was to heal the fractures of the bond between my son and I. I am so thankful for the resilience that is in a child. I’ll share another time, how I have discussed depression with him. We enjoy a wonderful intimate relationship again now.

Through my experience I learned that one of the most important things we can do for our children’s self esteem is make sure they know they are 'welcome' in our home, our workplace...our personal space. It MATTERS. Our facial expressions and body language, MATTER. That their company is welcome, MATTERS. And, knowing that we want to be in their company, MATTERS. It’s not always easy, I am the first to admit.

Welcome=acceptance=self acceptance. I think it's the foundation of our 'social needs' as human beings. I think that this early sense of feeling ‘welcome’ as a child, becomes the foundation of our own self-acceptance, and avoids that gnawing, insatiable ‘need’ that many of us experience, leading us to make all sorts of choices and behaviours that invariably leave us, still wanting, in fragmented relationships and communities.

Be welcome. A magical element of being alive and part of an amazing world.

Be welcome to our Barefoot community, where our passion for parenting, community and our earth mingle together in words, provoking thought and discussion.

Be welcome, to read each others' stories of life, love, loss, and laughter.

Be welcome. Welcome to read, share, comment (please do!)

Sarah's Seasonal Table

So by now our subscribers should be receiving their Spring 2010 issue - and we promised photos of the beautiful recipes that Sarah gave us in her Seasonal Table pages...

So here they are...

The sweet ricotta hotcakes - with honey yoghurt and mixed berries

The savoury ricotta hotcake - with fresh zucchini and roasted tomatoes

The savoury tart - delicious!!

Some other tart flavours that may inspire you are:

* mushroom and goats cheese

* pea, pancetta and parmesan

* pumpkin, ricotta and olive

* roast tomato and basil

* leek, goats cheese and thyme

* leek and smoked trout

 

Thanks again to Sarah for her delicious recipes.

Let us know if you try them out and what you think...

Anna

xo

Our Event

Our Boys event is now SOLD OUT - sorry to those of you who have missed out on tickets..
If you've booked tickets and haven't paid for them yet, email us and we'll send you our direct deposit details..
x

Living Barefoot in honour of Iris

Rachel was on Life Matters this morning on ABC Radio National - and she was wonderful..

Listen to her interview here...

Living Barefoot in honour of Iris

We miss you Iris  oxoxo

Life Matters...

Our lovely Rachel is going to be on the radio again - this time on Radio National on Life Matters!
When:   Monday 16th August at 9.45am
621AM in Melbourne, otherwise look it up your local frequency on the ABC website..
Put it in your diaries...
x

Winners!!

So we have some winners!!

Naina from Greensborough, VIC won our 2 night getaway to Huon Bush Retreats. Lucky, lucky thing...
Her entry was "I've learnt that you never stop learning, your kids are the most important teachers on this journey, no matter how small they are - they point the way!"
Too true Naina - you can thank your kids for a weekend getaway too now...
Have fun. You deserve it!

Our other lucky winner is Brooke Patel from VIC as well - Her beautiful photo won her a $50 voucher to the Fairy Ring. Her winning photo will be featured in our Spring issue of Barefoot and we've included it here too..

Thanks to everybody who submitted their beautiful photos and entered our subscription competition - we love feeling connected to you all out there..

Take care

Anna

xo

Some cool stuff happening around town...

Firstly - sorry. Sorry about the lack of love on our blog lately. Sorry we haven't posted anything for a really long time - but our long term plan is to start posting articles, pictures, great photos, links  - all the things that blogs are really great for - so while we don't want you to hold your breath, start getting excited about the prospect of a new, fuller Barefoot blog...

So I have a few things I'd like to share with you - that we at Barefoot think are worth mentioning...

WWMN is proud to announce the launch of its 9th radio show

Primary Perspectives -eco-radio created for kids by kids!
Tues 27 July 4-5pm
on Melbourne’s premier sustainability station 94.1fm 3WBC
and worldwide via live streaming www.3wbc.org.au
Tune in and send our young team a word of encouragement via text on 04 4800 9800

Here at Barefoot, we don't like to post advertising for advertising's sake - but thought what Nature Babycare is doing is worth a plug - we are all about community here and love the idea that this is being promoted below:
 
'Nature Babycare, the range of natural and biodegradable baby products, are creating a unique community of parents from all over the world. Rather than investing in expensive advertising campaigns, they have made a conscious decision to invest in improving their products, and instead rely on word of mouth marketing via their recently revamped Nature Babycare “Ambassador Program”. Australian parents are invited to join the international Nature Babycare community on http://www.natyambassadors.com' and be part of this company improving their products..'
 
Take care out there...
 
Anna
xo